Peer Review #1: Someone other than your previous peer reviewer.  They will use the non-rubric peer review sheet.

Peer Review # 2:  Peer Reviewer of your first draft will also do this one.  They will use the rubric.

November 2:
Bring Into The Wild on Monday

Also bring your almost-final draft 

Final draft due between November 3-5

Grades posted for the quiz sections; have not yet cut up the answer strips to reveal which ones you missed (or what your raw score was on the rhetorical analysis section).  We can revisit these on Monday. 

Today I want to focus on concluding paragraphs, and give you some time to work on them. 

Also want to provide a list of tone and mood words, since I see that people struggle to find the right words to describe tone in particular. Students resort to words that express degree like "strong" or "intense". Such words don't tell us the specific attitude, emotion or feeling that is conveyed. Romanticism in film...

How do the filmmakers of Dead Poet's Society use juxtaposition of traditional and Romantic ideas and images and for what purpose? 

Revised essay is due tomorrow...

Ending the Essay: Conclusions

So much is at stake in writing a conclusion. This is, after all, your last chance to persuade your readers to your point of view, to impress yourself upon them as a writer and thinker. And the impression you create in your conclusion will shape the impression that stays with your readers after they've finished the essay.

The end of an essay should therefore convey a sense of completeness and closure as well as a sense of the lingering possibilities of the topic, its larger meaning, its implications: the final paragraph should close the discussion without closing it off.

To establish a sense of closure, you might do one or more of the following:

• Conclude by linking the last paragraph to the first, perhaps by reiterating a word or phrase you used at the beginning.
• Conclude with a sentence composed mainly of one-syllable words. Simple language can help create an effect of understated drama.
• Conclude with a sentence that's compound or parallel in structure; such sentences can establish a sense of balance or order that may feel just right at the end of a complex discussion.

To close the discussion without closing it off, you might do one or more of the following:

• Conclude with a quotation from or reference to a primary or secondary source, one that amplifies your main point or puts it in a different perspective. A quotation from, say, the novel or poem you're writing about can add texture and specificity to your discussion; a critic or scholar can help confirm or complicate your final point. For example, you might conclude an essay on the idea of home in James Joyce's short story collection, Dubliners, with information about Joyce's own complex feelings towards Dublin, his home. Or you might end with a biographer's statement about Joyce's attitude toward Dublin, which could illuminate his characters' responses to the city. Just be cautious, especially about using secondary material: make sure that you get the last word.
• Conclude by setting your discussion into a different, perhaps larger, context. For example, you might end an essay on nineteenth-century muckraking journalism by linking it to a current news magazine program like 60 Minutes.
• Conclude by redefining one of the key terms of your argument. For example, an essay on Marx's treatment of the conflict between wage labor and capital might begin with Marx's claim that the "capitalist economy is . . . a gigantic enterprise ofdehumanization"; the essay might end by suggesting that Marxist analysis is itself dehumanizing because it construes everything in economic -- rather than moral or ethical-- terms.
• Conclude by considering the implications of your argument (or analysis or discussion). What does your argument imply, or involve, or suggest? For example, an essay on the novel Ambiguous Adventure, by the Senegalese writer Cheikh Hamidou Kane, might open with the idea that the protagonist's development suggests Kane's belief in the need to integrate Western materialism and Sufi spirituality in modern Senegal. The conclusion might make the new but related point that the novel on the whole suggests that such an integration is (or isn't) possible.

Finally, some advice on how not to end an essay:

• Don't simply summarize your essay. A brief summary of your argument may be useful, especially if your essay is long--more than ten pages or so. But shorter essays tend not to require a restatement of your main ideas.
• Avoid phrases like "in conclusion," "to conclude," "in summary," and "to sum up." These phrases can be useful--even welcome--in oral presentations. But readers can see, by the tell-tale compression of the pages, when an essay is about to end. You'll irritate your audience if you belabor the obvious.
• Resist the urge to apologize. If you've immersed yourself in your subject, you now know a good deal more about it than you can possibly include in a five- or ten- or 20-page essay. As a result, by the time you've finished writing, you may be having some doubts about what you've produced. (And if you haven't immersed yourself in your subject, you may be feeling even more doubtful about your essay as you approach the conclusion.) Repress those doubts. Don't undercut your authority by saying things like, "this is just one approach to the subject; there may be other, better approaches. . ."

Strategies for an effective conclusion

• Play the "So What" Game.
  • When you read a statement from the conclusion, ask yourself, "So what?" or "Why should anybody care?"
  • Ponder that question and answer it
    • Basically, I’m just saying that education was important to Douglass
    • So what?
    • Well, it was important because it was a key to him feeling like a free and equal citizen
    • Why should anybody care?
    • That’s important because plantation owners tried to keep slaves from being educated so that they could maintain control. When Douglass obtained an education, he undermined that control personally.
• Return to the theme or themes in the introduction
  • This brings the reader full circle
  • If you begin by describing a scenario, you can end with the same scenario as proof that your essay is helpful in creating a new understanding
  • Refer to the introductory paragraph by using key words, or parallel concepts and images that you also used in the introduction
• Summarize
  • Include a brief summary of the paper’s main points, but don’t simply repeat things that were in the paper
• Pull it all together
  • Show your reader how the points you made and the support and examples you used fit together
• Include a provocative insight or quotation from the research or reading you did for the paper
• Propose a course of action, a solution to an issue, or questions for further study
• Point to broader implications
  • A paper about the style of writer, Virginia Woolf, could point to her influence on other writers or later feminists

---

Concluding strategies that do not work

• Beginning with an unnecessary, overused phrase
• These may work in speeches, but they come across as wooden and trite in writing
  • "in conclusion"
  • "in summary"
  • "in closing"
  • "as shown in the essay"
• Stating the thesis for the very first time
• Introducing a new idea or subtopic in your conclusion
• Making sentimental, emotional appeals that are out of character with the rest of the paper
• Including evidence (quotations, statistics, etc.) that should be in the body of the paper

---

Ineffective conclusions

• "That’s My Story and I’m Sticking to It"
  • Restates the thesis and is usually painfully short
  • Does not push ideas forward
  • Written when the writer can’t think of anything else to say
  • Example
    • In conclusion, Frederick Douglass was, as we have seen, a pioneer in American education, proving that education was a major force for social change with regard to slavery.
• "Sherlock Holmes"
  • State the thesis for the first time in the conclusion
  • Writer thinks it would be more dramatic to keep the reader in suspense and then "wow" them with the main idea, as in a Sherlock Holmes mystery
  • Readers want an analytical discussion of the topic in academic style, with the thesis statement up front
• "America the Beautiful"
  • Draws on emotion to make its appeal
  • Out of character with the rest of the paper
• "Grab Bag"
• Includes extra information thought of or found but couldn’t integrate into the main body
• Creates confusion for the reader

English IIH-7,8
11 March 2008

Get the Tone, Get the Tone, but Get the Tone

The malicious overseer whips seven hungry, feeble, young boys mercilessly. The poor boys are each only about five years old; their enormous, watering eyes giving birth to tears, which streak their innocent, soiled faces. The boys scatter about the filthy factory like terrified mice running from a heartless, black cat, but the tall, dark overseer continues to find and beat them callously. The adjectives used in this situation create an oppressive, ominous tone which contributes to a frightening and desperate mood. Tone is an author's attitude expressed in a work; authors utilize many different tools to enhance their tone. In Molly Ivins's "Get a Knife, Get a Dog, but Get Rid of Guns," she employs piercing diction, confident statements, and first and second person point of view to produce a commanding tone.

Ivins's acute diction complements her firm tone. While describing America, she exploits words such as, "disaster" and "nonsense" to describe America's decision to use guns more freely; this compels the audience to agree with her and become irate and ashamed, for no one wants to live in a world that can be described in such a way. However, she describes the past, a time when she believes guns were actually necessary, with fondness. "How do they know it was the dearest wish of Thomas Jefferson's heart that teenage drug dealers should cruise the cities of this nation perforating their fellow citizens with assault rifles?" (Ivins 35). She portrays Thomas Jefferson as a beloved man who would be ashamed of the way America has matured. This coerces the audience into cherishing the past as well. As her work progresses, Ivins begins to employ the word "kill" more and more. This forces the audience to relate this image of death and destruction with guns, so they concur with Ivins's hatred of guns. Ivins cautiously selects each intense word to develop the authoritative tone.

Ivins's strong tone is also supplemented by assured statements. Instead of using the phrase "I think," Ivins just states her opinions as facts: "The argument that a~guns don't kill people' is patent nonsense" (Ivins 36). She does not allow the audience to question her views. Alternatively, she tells the audience, "Guns do kill" (Ivins 36). She surpasses convincing the audience guns are corrupting America; Ivins informs. She also instructs the audience: "Ban the damn things. Ban them all" (Ivins 36). Ivins does not permit the audience to make the choice to ban guns or not. She commands America to ban guns, and this generates a commanding tone.

Ivins utilizes first and second person to beckon the audience into the story; this way, she can command them; after all, there is no way Ivins can command her audience if they are not involved in the story. She employs the word "we" frequently throughout her paper: "But we haven't outlawed cars yet. We do, however, license them and their owners, restrict their use to presumable sane and sober adults, and keep track of who sells them to whom. At a minimum, we should do the same with guns" (Ivins 35). This includes the audience and informs them they are also at fault for the idiocy of America's lack of gun control. At the closing of the work, Ivins alters to second person: "You want protection? Get a dog" (Ivins 36). Instead of addressing the audience as a collective, Ivins isolates the reader, pinning the flaws of America on one person. Her firm tone is made even stronger with this final harsh command.

Molly Ivins exercises critical diction, definite statements, and first and second person to enhance her commanding tone in "Get a Knife, Get a Dog, but Get Rid of Guns." Many authors utilize these and other tools to augment their tone, for tone is one of the most important elements of writing. If a work has no tone, the audience will not be concerned with it because it will not make them feel anything. Tone causes mood; without mood, the audience is just reading words, not experiencing a story.

Learning to Forget the Unforgettable

            Some books are written solely for entertainment purposes; others are written with a greater purpose in mind—the purpose to teach. These books may teach people anything from morals to how to look at the world from an entirely novel perspective. Toni Morrison’s Beloved is without a doubt one of those latter books. In Beloved, Morrison skillfully crafts a stage ripe with emotion where the characters are brought to life to act out the bitterness and sorrow of their lives. Yet, as heart wrenching as some of the more dramatic scenes are, Morrison is at her best not when she is depicting the gruesome details of the characters’ lives, but when she preaches her message at the end of the book. Using point of view, figurative language, and repetition to emphasize her point, Morrison ends her book Beloved with a powerful message about learning to forget the unforgettable.

            Throughout Beloved, the story is mostly narrated in third person, with very few exceptions. For the most part, Morrison uses a third person limited-omniscient narration style that focuses on a single character at a time to reveal their thoughts, and although she switches perspectives fairly often, the reader rarely gets to see the general picture. In this final passage, however, Morrison uses the all-knowing, omniscient narrator, which is extremely befitting given that a conclusion should tie up most, if not all, of the loose knots in the whole scheme of things and leaves the reader with a sense of closure. Furthermore, because she uses it so sparingly earlier in the novel, the rarity of the third person omniscient narrator makes Morrison’s final lesson all the more powerful in its delivery.

            In addition to her choice of point of view, Morrison’s use of figurative language lends an additional dimension to her message. The best example of this is the first line of the fourth paragraph in the excerpt: “So they forgot her. Like an unpleasant dream during a troubling sleep” (324). At first glance, these two lines are deceptively simple; Morrison is simply comparing Beloved to a bad dream like you would do in any old simile—except that this is not any old simile. This simile’s purpose is to further embellish Beloved’s symbolic representation of slavery, or rather the ever-haunting shadow that slavery leaves behind in the lives of former slaves. Although the hints have been there all along, it is in these final two pages of Beloved that you realize with sudden clarity that Beloved represents so much more than just an angry baby’s ghost. And this is the way Morrison meant it to be, which is especially apparent given the ambiguous nature of the last two pages. You may well ask, “Is this passage referring to Beloved or the horrors of slavery?” The answer to that question is both because they are, figuratively, one and the same. The simile compounds this statement by the fact that you can easily interchange Beloved and the horrors of slavery in comparison to a bad dream. Moreover, Morrison’s decision to compare them to a dream shows that no matter how bad, both will eventually fade away until they are no more than exactly that—a dream, and not a reality.

            Furthermore, Morrison uses repetition to do what it does best, which is to emphasize important phrases. Obviously, the previously discussed simile is one such phrase, although she does change the syntax around ever so slightly to add more detail to the second repetition to make it stronger, like the way you build a house by putting one brick on top of another. Another key phrase that Morrison chooses to repeat is so important that it has its own paragraph: “It was not a story to pass on” (323, 324). The reason she puts so much emphasize on this one sentence is because that it essentially sums up the message of her story: that there are some things that are better left unremembered, no matter how hard they are to forget. Once again, this statement follows the ambiguity of the whole passage since, on the surface, it is referring to Beloved’s story, but underneath, it is referring to the story of slavery in general. Interestingly enough, on the third repetition, Morrison shifts from past to present tense: “This is not a story to pass on” (324). Perhaps by doing so, she is actually addressing the reader directly and implying that even now in this present day we must still learn to stop being haunted by the repercussions of slavery. But whether she is referring to the characters or the reader, Morrison’s use of repetition sounds her message loud and clear to whoever is listening.

There are some things that we may never forget and never should forget. There are other things that seem to be unforgettable, but must be forgotten in order to move on in life, past the hurt and the pain. Slavery is one such thing and Morrison’s story of Beloved and how she came back to haunt Sethe and company is a beautiful representation of the long lasting and haunting aftereffects of slavery. Through her use of point of view, figurative language, and repetition, Morrison makes sure that her message is heard by all readers alike in her powerful conclusion to

Beloved.

Alice Walker, author of the poem “For My Sister Molly Who in the Fifties”, uses imagery to describe the narrator’s view on Molly’s reaction with her and other people. Walker’s imagery gives the story more depth to the emotions of the narrator and Molly’s decisions in life that caused them.  This poem portrays how the narrator feels about her sister, Molly, and her relationship with everyone around her.

            Walker gives the readers of her poem a quick description of Molly’s earlier life in the beginning of the poem to illustrate how much she has changed over time.  The narrator speaking describes her opinion of the way Molly reacts around her family and also how she views Molly herself.  “WHO IN THE FIFTIES/ Knew all the written things that made/ Us laugh and stories by/ The hour    Waking up the story buds/ Like fruit. Who walked among the flowers…And looked as bright” (lines 35-42).  Molly was extremely intelligent and pleasing to the eye.  The narrator looked up to Molly as her guide just like a flower looks to the sun to thrive.  She was happy with the way Molly had been and did not expect or want it to change.

            Later in the poem, Walker has the narrator tell her experience of her sister, Molly, going off to college.  She did not want to recognize Molly the way she returned.  “Of all the tales/ I had forgot./ WHO OFF INTO THE UNIVERSITY/ Went exploring    To London and./ To Rotterdam◦” (lines 49-53).  The adventures Molly had been on seemed too extravagant to the narrator.  Almost too much for her to bare with Molly being gone.  Just maybe she was jealous.  To be the sister of this wonderful, beautiful, intelligent woman could be difficult to live up to.  Unless she were to turn against her that is.

            Near the end of Walker’s poem, the narrator gives and interesting image of the way Molly reacted when she was reunited with the family.  “WHO FOUND ANOTHER WORLD/ Another life    With gentle fold/ Far less trusting/ And  moved and moved and changed/ Her name/ And sounded precise/ When she spoke    And frowned away/  Our sloppishness” (lines 63-70).  The narrator seems to be confused of the way Molly turned out after college.  Her name was changed, she seemed unhappy with her family, and spoke with proper grammar all the time.  Molly has become someone else, someone her sister did not know or want to see.  The narrator becomes confused with her appearance and describes her in opposite ways.  “Bright and also blinding” (line 87).

            Walker describes the death of Molly and ends with the narrator mourning over her loss of her beloved sister.  She had changed indeed but never would her sister forget the person she used to be.  With all the confusion she never wanted to believe her loss.  She loved her but never understood her, and may never will.  

The Jungle      

Beloved is more than just the story of an ex-slave; it is the story of slavery itself, with layers of meaning that run over, under and through one another, as the strings of Sethe’s story are woven into the African-American experience. Sometimes Toni Morrison pulls the reader in closely, so that all that can be seen is the thread of Sethe’s life, twined tightly to the threads of Denver, Baby Suggs, and the Sweet Home men. Other times she holds readers at a distance, so that the entire tapestry of black America comes into focus. When Stamp Paid reflects on the dehumanization that slavery perpetuates among blacks and whites alike, Morrison effortlessly moves between the layers, setting Sethe’s life in context. Stamp Paid’s metaphorical musing about the tangled, twisted jungle whose roots lie in slavery is an example of Morrison’s broader brush strokes, as she eloquently and insightfully elucidates the heart of slavery’s evil.

            This passage begins with Stamp Paid’s visit to 124, and as his thoughts turn from the house’s living occupants to the angry spirits that haunt it, Morrison seamlessly transitions into an analysis of the ugly taint of slavery that still colors the lives of African Americans years after the institution’s abolition. Using a fearsome jungle as a multi-layered metaphor for the painful and dehumanizing outgrowths of slavery, she illuminates realities about the impact of racism that still exist today.

The jungle is first used to describe the white race’s perception of blacks. Morrison’s selection of a jungle for metaphorical comparison is skillful because it transfers the characteristics of Africa onto Africa’s people, thus establishing the source of white prejudice. To whites, blacks were as wild and untamed, as unpredicatable, as the exotic land that they arrived from, with Africa’s raw barbarism coursing unavoidably through their veins. The lyrical imagery that Morrison injects into the metaphor- “swift unnavigable waters, swinging screaming baboons, sleeping snakes”- recalls an archetypal African jungle, savage and primeval, and thereby further increases the power of this connection to Africa. 

Morrison then shifts the metaphor, refuting the belief that blacks have any such jungle beneath their skin, at least not that they carried over from Africa. Instead, she argues that it is a product of America, planted and cultivated by whites themselves. The savagery of the jungle mirrors the savagery whites have inflicted upon Africans, so that as fierce racism and horrific slavery practices dehumanized the slaves, the jungle within them grew more uncivilized, more untamable. 

And then, like a jungle stretching vines to entangle everything in its path, the taint of slavery spread to the whites. The madness, the fearsome inhumanity that the “screaming baboon” and the “red gums” represent, turned back on its creators. In perpetuating dehumanization against fellow humans, whites lost a part of their humanity as well. It is a vicious cycle; their fear of a jungle that did not exist until they created it makes them, “bloody, silly, worse than even they wanted to be.” Morrison skillfully manipulates this metaphor throughout the cycle, turning the jungle back against the whites and illuminating the irony in their fear of unknown dangers lurking beneath the dark skin of their slaves. The worst evil of slavery, Morrison reveals, is the corrupting, all-consuming effect it has on the humanity of all its participants.  

Please give me one copy of your rough draft and keep another for peer reviews purposes

Review some thoughts on thesis statements 

Peer Reviews followed by quiet revision

October 27, 2015

Thoughts on Writing a Thesis
By Michael Barsanti, some other teachers, and me

1. Think of your thesis as a project. It might be easiest to think about this project as having two parts: the first where you say something about the work at hand (a reading), and a second where you explain what the consequences or uses of this reading are. This approach can be structured as a brief formula:

"I want to show you [something in the text] in order to say [something you should care about]."

2. Your thesis should apply specifically and exclusively to the works at hand. If your thesis could apply to several other works in addition to the one(s) you are writing about, you need to narrow it down.

The story of Kate Swift in Sherwood Anderson's Winesburg, Ohio tells us that communication is important.

This thesis is so vague that you could plug in nearly any story and it would still work.

3. Your thesis must not invoke or rephrase a cliche.

The story of Louise Bentley is a perfect example of "once bitten, twice shy."

4. Your thesis must not make any kind of claim about Society, The History of Mankind, People Since the Beginning of Time, All the People of the World, Everyone Who Ever Lived, etc.
5. Your thesis must do more than express judgments about the characters in the texts. They are not human beings. They do not exist outside the text. They cannot change, no matter how much you may want them to. You may talk about them as having a psychology with motivations and feelings and the like, as long as this discussion is in service of a larger point and shows awareness that the character is a carefully constructed representation inside a carefully and deliberately constructed work.

Instead of:

The Reverend Hartman is a deeply frustrated man.

Try:

Sherwood Anderson uses descriptions of body parts, especially hands, to show that Reverend Hartman is a deeply frustrated man.

A good thesis is:

• Argumentative. It makes a case. That's the biggest difference between a thesis and a topic — a topic is something like "Slavery in Huck Finn." That's not a case, only a general area. A thesis, on the other hand, makes a specific case, it tries to prove something. One way to tell a thesis from a topic: if it doesn't have an active verb, it's almost certainly still a topic.
• Analytical, not evaluative. A college English paper isn't the place to praise or blame works of literature: theses like "Paradise Lost is an enduring expression of the human spirit" or "The Sound and the Fury isn't successful in its choice of narrative techniques" aren't appropriate. That's the business of book reviewers. No need to give thumbs-up or thumbs-down; evaluate the work on its own terms.
• Specific. It's not enough to deal in vague generalities. Some students want to write their paper on man and God, or on the black experience in the twentieth century. Both are far too nebulous to produce a good paper. Get your hands dirty with the text.
• Well supported. That's the key to the rest of the paper after those first few paragraphs.

The thesis statement should appear very close to the beginning of the paper. Some professors want it in a specific place — often the last sentence of the first paragraph. That's as good a position as any, but I prefer not to be rigidly formulaic in such matters. In any case, though, the thesis statement should be very near the beginning (in the first paragraph or two).

Jeannine DeLombard and Dan White offer this "important hint" for constructing a thesis:

You do not need a refined thesis in order to start writing. If you begin with a provisional thesis and then do good and careful close readings, you will often find a version of your final thesis in the last paragraph of a first draft. Integrate that version into your first paragraph and revise from there. Do not worry too much about your thesis, therefore, until after you've written out your close readings! A good final thesis should emerge from, not precede, your analyses.

Of course you have to know exactly what you're saying by the time you finish, but don't let that stop you from beginning to write. The fear of the blank screen — think of the old movie cliché of the would-be writer with the trashcan overflowing with crumpled paper — paralyzes too many people. Theses don't spring into being in their final form.

Some other reminders about thesis statements…

• Make sure that your thesis is an arguable point.
• Stay focused and be concise.
• Entire paper must relate back to thesis.
• Use varied and interesting word choice
• Thesis must be specific enough to give the reader a clear picture of what the essay is about.
• Sentence must flow and be understandable.
• Does my thesis pass the "So what?" test? If a reader's first response is "So what?", you need to clarify, find something meaningful to say, or connect to a larger issue.
• Does my essay support my thesis specifically and without wandering? If your thesis and the body of your essay do not seem to go together, one of them has to change. It's okay to change your working thesis to reflect things you have figured out in the course of writing your paper. Remember, always reassess and revise your writing as necessary.

Remember some thesis structures available to you:

Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain's Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find the true expression of American democratic ideals, one must leave "civilized" society and go back to nature.

Through one girl’s hatred and another’s desire, Johnson explores the human need for love and the affect the absence of love can have on a person.

Although Fitzgerald’s “Babylon Revisited” is set in Paris during the Great

Depression and Faulkner’s “A Rose for Emily” takes place in the South during the 1920’s, both stories weave back and forth in time through retrospection and flashback.

Although Jane does not condemn Blanch Ingram, Rochester, and the rest of the party individually, she disapproves of the principles of the upper class as a whole.

While both Northerners and Southerners believed they fought against tyranny and oppression, Northerners focused on the oppression of slaves while Southerners defended their own right to self-government.

In The Tide Turned, O’Brien’s tale of love between a father and his son illustrates the theme of optimism; even in utter desolation, there is still hope enough for one’s posterity to lead a decent life. 

Students absent on Friday should take The Scarlet Letter chapter 14-24 quiz.

FYI...The pre-essay reflection you are handing in today is the same as the Meta-cognition Reflection Piece mentioned in the initial essay assignment handout.

10/26: Review elements of a good essay.  

Work on your first draft, which will be due tomorrow. You should have at least three typed pages.

Think of your essay as an answer to a question. As you write, don't lose sight of your question or your answer (your thesis).  Remember this especially as you write your body paragraphs.

Who is your audience? Who do they represent? What do they value?

What are the characteristics of a good introductory paragraph?

What are the characteristics of a good body paragraph?

What are the characteristics of a good closing paragraph?

Strategy suggestion...

Initially, write your body paragraphs sans direct quotes (try paraphrasing), and then embed quotesonce you have expressed your main point and explained why your point is valid and important to proving your thesis.  

Some less confident writers build their paragraph structure around their quotes rather than the other way around.  Such paragraphs often end up lacking coherence/flow and sufficient analysis because the author is relying too much on the quotations to fill space.  Don't be that author.

Avoid to be verbs: am, are, be, being, is, was, were.  They often result in passive voice or wordy, flabby sentence constructions. They have their place, but don't overuse them.  If a teacher has told you to write more concise sentences, this is a good place to start, start here.

Also, try to limit your use of filler words like this, that, those. Notice in the crossout above how a verb of being (is) followed one of offender filler words (this) resulting in a longer phrase than the replacement? Typical.

10/27: first draft due...underline your thesis and your topic sentence for each paragraph/peer reviews

10/29: 2^nd draft due; peer review

10/30: next-to-final draft due

11/2 to 11/4: Final draft due

Homework:

10/23: For Monday, write a pre-essay reflection of which prompt you are responding to and why you are attracted to it. Include a tentative thesis.

There is no particular format requirement, but it should be typed, a full page to a page and a half in length, include a tentative thesis, and explain why you personally are interested in writing about this topic.(you will receive 10 points for a satisfactory effort). Is their a personal connection, did Hawthorne's treatment of it in The Scarlet Letter raise questions for you or did you see connections to the real world? In short, why this prompt? Why does it matter to you? Why did it catch your attention?

10/26: Review elements of a good essay.  Work on your first draft, which will be due 10/27.

10/27: first draft due

10/29: 2^nd draft due

10/30: next-to-final draft due

11/2 to 11/4: Final draft due

Relaxed Review Day: Tomorrow we will have a quiz on close reading of content from chapter 14-24, vocab from chapters 14-19, and a rhetorical analysis passage from chapters 14-24. 

I will give you 35 minutes today for silent review of vocab, content of the chapters, and working through a practice rhetorical analysis passage. The last 10 minutes you can confer with a classmate or two about the rhetorical analysis questions, and then we will review the answers quickly. 

Students who came in for extra review the other day will be familiar with the passage and most questions, so they can devote more time to review of vocab or content of the chapters. 


In addition to the chapters 14-19 words, the following words from 9-13 may appear.  We don't want to learn words once only to forget them two weeks earlier. I am choosing words that have particular value in academic settings, and thus they prepare you for reading in English and history, especially in the reading of primary (original) documents in history and English and Psychology.

1.            vindicate:  maintain, uphold, or defend

2.            affinity: a close connection marked by community of interests

3.            vilify: spread negative information about

4.            latent: not presently active, but present within

5.            odious: unequivocally detestable

6.            antipathy: a feeling of intense dislike

7.            ethereal: of heaven or the spirit

8.            defile: spot, stain, or pollute

9.            admonish: warn strongly; put on guard

10.          replete: deeply filled or permeated

1. derisive
   expressing contempt or ridicule
   It seemed to be his wish and purpose to mask this expression with a smile, but the latter played him false, and flickered over his visage so derisively that the spectator could see his blackness all the better for it.
2. propinquity
   the property of being close together
   But it was the constant shadow of my presence, the closestpropinquity of the man whom he had most vilely wronged, and who had grown to exist only by this perpetual poison of the direst revenge!
3. bane
   something causing misery or death
   But this long debt of confidence, due from me to him, whose bane and ruin I have been, shall at length be paid.
4. blighted
   affected by something that prevents growth or prosperity
   Hester gazed after him a little while, looking with a half fantastic curiosity to see whether the tender grass of early spring would not beblighted beneath him and show the wavering track of his footsteps, sere and brown, across its cheerful verdure.
5. verdure
   green foliage
   Hester gazed after him a little while, looking with a half fantastic curiosity to see whether the tender grass of early spring would not be blighted beneath him and show the wavering track of his footsteps, sere and brown, across its cheerful verdure.
6. sedulous
   marked by care and persistent effort
   She wondered what sort of herbs they were which the old man was sosedulous to gather.
7. deleterious
   harmful to living things
   Or might it suffice him that every wholesome growth should be converted into something deleterious and malignant at his touch?
8. upbraid
   express criticism towards
   She upbraided herself for the sentiment, but could not overcome or lessen it.
9. reproach
   express criticism towards
   Else it may be their miserable fortune, as it was Roger Chillingworth's, when some mightier touch than their own may have awakened all her sensibilities, to be reproached even for the calm content, the marble image of happiness, which they will have imposed upon her as the warm reality.
10. petulant
    easily irritated or annoyed
    Heretofore, the mother, while loving her child with the intensity of a sole affection, had schooled herself to hope for little other return than the waywardness of an April breeze, which spends its time in airy sport, and has its gusts of inexplicable passion, and is petulant in its best of moods, and chills oftener than caresses you, when you take it to your bosom;
11. precocity
    intelligence achieved far ahead of normal development
    But now the idea came strongly into Hester's mind, that Pearl, with her remarkable precocity and acuteness, might already have approached the age when she could have been made a friend, and intrusted with as much of her mother's sorrows as could be imparted, without irreverence either to the parent or the child.
12. asperity
    harshness of manner
    "Hold thy tongue, naughty child!" answered her mother, with anasperity that she had never permitted to herself before.
13. primeval
    having existed from the beginning
    It straggled onward into the mystery of the primeval forest. This hemmed it in so narrowly, and stood so black and dense on either side, and disclosed such imperfect glimpses of the sky above, that, to Hester's mind, it imaged not amiss the moral wilderness in which she had so long been wandering.
    A primeval forest is mysterious because it existed before humans and civilization. Hester and Dimmesdale's choice of this setting for their first private meeting in seven years can mean 1) they need to hide from the light of God and the eyes of the town, 2) they are morally lost, and/or 3) their love is timeless and wild, and it can only be acknowledged outside the civilizing forces of Puritan society.
14. scintillating
    marked by high spirits or excitement
    Pearl set forth at a great pace, and as Hester smiled to perceive, did actually catch the sunshine, and stood laughing in the midst of it, all brightened by its splendour, and scintillating with the vivacity excited by rapid motion.
    Another definition of "scintillating" is "having brief flashes of light"--this could refer to the appearance of sunshine in a dense forest. But Hawthorne is using the adjective to describe Pearl's mood after she successfully catches the sunshine. This scene emphasizes the literal and symbolic connections between Pearl and light, which contrast with Hester and darkness.
15. cadence
    a recurrent rhythmical series
    The child went singing away, following up the current of the brook, and striving to mingle a more lightsome cadence with its melancholy voice.
16. vivacious
    vigorous and animated
    To Hester's eye, the Reverend Mr. Dimmesdale exhibited no symptom of positive and vivacious suffering, except that, as little Pearl had remarked, he kept his hand over his heart.
    "Vivacious" and "positive" are odd adjectives to describe suffering. But this is in the eye of a woman whose own suffering has led her to become self-ordained as "a Sister of Mercy" who often seeks out the poor and sick to give them clothes or care. Although physically changed too, Hester is not "haggard", "feeble", "nerveless" or "listless" like Dimmesdale.
17. contiguity
    the attribute of being so near as to be touching
    The very contiguity of his enemy, beneath whatever mask the latter might conceal himself, was enough to disturb the magnetic sphere of a being so sensitive as Arthur Dimmesdale.
18. consecration
    sanctification of something by dedicating it to God
    "What we did had a consecration of its own.
    Another definition of "consecration" is "a solemn commitment of your life to some cherished purpose"--while Hester had committed her life to loving Dimmesdale, and their physical act of sex could be seen as a consecration, she is using the religious meaning of the word here, which Dimmesdale as a reverend cannot accept.
19. satiate
    fill to satisfaction
    He will doubtless seek other means of satiating his dark passion."
20. vestige
    an indication that something has been present
    Deeper it goes, and deeper into the wilderness, less plainly to be seen at every step; until some few miles hence the yellow leaves will show novestige of the white man's tread.
21. extenuation
    a partial excuse to mitigate censure
    Were such a man once more to fall, what plea could be urged inextenuation of his crime?
22. subjugate
    make subservient; force to submit or subdue
    Such was the sympathy of Nature—that wild, heathen Nature of the forest, never subjugated by human law, nor illumined by higher truth—with the bliss of these two spirits!
23. inure
    cause to accept or become hardened to
    "Hasten, Pearl, or I shall be angry with thee!" cried Hester Prynne, who, however, inured to such behaviour on the elf-child's part at other seasons, was naturally anxious for a more seemly deportment now.
24. mollify
    make less rigid or softer
    But Pearl, not a whit startled at her mother's threats any more thanmollified by her entreaties, now suddenly burst into a fit of passion, gesticulating violently, and throwing her small figure into the most extravagant contortions.
25. pallor
    unnatural lack of color in the skin
    Hester turned again towards Pearl with a crimson blush upon her cheek, a conscious glance aside at the clergyman, and then a heavy sigh, while, even before she had time to speak, the blush yielded to a deadly pallor.